Tuesday Bluesday

This isn't going to be a sad, mopey post.  But sometimes people get down, it is a fact of life.

I let myself have fifteen minutes a day by myself, in the woods or face buried in pillows, to get a good cry in.

This is the result of not taking drugs or drinking alcohol at the slightest sign on emotion.  I have done a pretty bad job of coping with my problems in the past, and this is just a natural result of years of bottled up emotions.  I let myself experience the hurt feelings, the love in my heart for people I miss, the pain I have caused others...all of the stuff that floats around in my paleomammilian cortex mixed around like fancy sauce....and it results in a good 15 minute sob fest.

And then I am done.  I move on with my day, tackling one obstacle after another. Do this...to get this....to make myself more this....because there is an end result, a vision.  It takes a vision to have something to strive for, a reason to get up in the morning...

My vision is simple.  Be completely self sufficient.  I will live in nature, on a self sufficient, off the grid utopian hippie farm.  And when I create this paradise, I will welcome anyone who wants to contribute to my vision, as long as their vision adds and doesn't subtract from the end goal.

Every day I put in the time and effort, and every day I find myself closer to my goal.  It could be 3 years down the road, it could be five or even ten.  But I will live a long life and there is no time like the present to make your dream a reality.

Today is a Blue Tuesday.  Blue, as in the color of my eyes....and the clear autumn SoOh sky.  Back to the grind.  Like Paul Harvey would say....good day!