About halfway through the day yesterday, after I had found many different available local jobs and interviewed with an HR rep from a place where I would REALLY enjoy working, it finally clicked.
I am going to be ok...
At which point I went for a run. My second 5 mile day in as many days. Felt really exhausted but in a good way. Mostly felt incredible which was a welcome change in affect from the last couple of weeks. And I spent last night with my good friend Jocelyn, who I have been hanging out with more and more, and we talked and talked.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty optimistic as well. I think I am finally turning the corner. Granted, I still don't have a job. I am not going to get unemployment. I don't really have any desire to date anyone new...and in light of all of this, I am....well....feeling better than okay.
I will get a job eventually. And I will find more time to write which is what I really would like to do.
And when I least expect it, when I am not even thinking about it...someone will pop into my life who wants to travel along this long and winding path with me, a co pilot for this journey.
Addiction grows weaker and weaker the longer you are from the vice. Feelings grow dimmer and dimmer the farther one is from past love. After enough time, the door shuts, and you have nothing but your future left.
I will leave you with the song that is playing in my head today. From a real person, a real artist, in this world of faux people. I am searching myself. I believe myself to be on the right track. :)
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